25 Jokes about Bankers and Banking

Baby laughsSometimes we need to step back and laugh at the world.  A little humor can only make things better.  Here are 25 jokes about Bankers and Banking guaranteed to make your day better.  Enjoy!

1. What’s the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe?
A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm; a catastrophe is when they can all swim.

2. What do a banker and a slinky have in common?
They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

3. What’s the difference between a banker and a trampoline?
You take off your boots to jump on a trampoline.

4. I went to my bank to discuss a loan.  The bank manager said: “Certainly, sir.  How much can you lend us?”

5. What’s the difference between a banker and a haddock?
One’s cold and slimy, the other’s a fish.

6. How do you stop a banker from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water.

7. A man went into a bank and said to the cashier: “Will you check my balance?”  So she pushed him.

8. What’s the difference between a banker and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.

9. What does a banker use for birth control?
His personality.

10. Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.  Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

11. My bank sent back a cheque with a note saying “insufficient funds”.  Them or me?

12. If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only two tellers?

13. What’s the difference between a banker and a sperm?
A sperm has a one-in-a-million chance of turning into a human being.

14. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead banker in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the snake.

15. Why did the post office have to recall a series of stamps depicting famous bankers?
People were confused about which side to spit on.

16.If a banker and a lawyer were both drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Resources Used:
The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

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Mammoth Book of One-Liners The 2,320 Funniest Quotes: The Most Hilarious Quips and One-Liners Winning with One-Liners: 3,400 Hilarious Laugh Lines to Tickle Your Funny Bone & Spice Up Your Speeches
Mark David (460 Posts)

When I was 12 years old, my mother died of Cancer. A shift in perspective over many years has turned my greatest tragedy into the greatest gift I've ever been given. My mother died so my life could have purpose and meaning. An inexhaustible passion to create a world based on love and truth is the driving force behind the creation of this website, the collection of information on it, and the books and reports that I will write in my lifetime. Subscribe to watch it all unfold.

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